Why?
One word, one question, yet such a hard one to answer.
Why is it that I know something is wrong, that something is not good for me, yet I still do it? The thing is I really feel that there is something different about the way my brain works than the way my skinny friends’ brains work. I am consistently worrying about food, what I should eat, what I shouldn’t eat, when will I eat, how much will I eat, and how much should I really eat, where will we eat when we go out later, what do I want to eat- oh wow. Now, you ask someone else, my friend who is naturally skinny, “Do you think about food a lot?” ‘Nope,” is the answer I get. Amazing. I mean, this has got to mean something, right?
I should be asleep, but I keep thinking. My brain is at war. I keep going back and forth, back and forth- what should I do, what plan should I pick- back and forth.
I need to stop, and it’s as simple as that. I need to be smart and use my God Given common sense.
I’m going to bed, and as I drift off to sleep I will be thinking about some stuff, preparing myself for launch.
It all started with a bottle of nail polish and words that I haven’t been able to get out of my mind for years now, “You’ve lost your sparkle.” I had a sparkle? At that moment I was more flattered that I even had a sparkle to begin with than the harsh statement I was presented with- I had it, but apparantly it was gone… The nail polish, well it’s pure glitter, something I haven’t been drawn to in years, but it had been sitting in that display for days, and I finally spent the three bucks to take it home with me- a cheap thrill that I suppose reminds me of the old days, when finding the glittery-est nail polish was all a gal had to worry about. This nail polish has something special that drawn me to it, you guessed it, a certain sparkle…